Way to go, Brit!

Brittany was chosen for a $2000.00 scholarship to a summer camp up in Idyllwild for 2 weeks in July. I'm so excited for her, but in the next breath, I was asking, "they know she'll only be 11, right?" She's been involved in an after-school program called "Tools for Tomorrow" that is kind of an arts / writing / drama, etc kind of program. They've painted, drawn self-portraits, written a play, built all of the scenery for it and acted it out and she's really enjoyed being a part of it. The teacher for it comes from another school and Brittany really likes her and she's very nice. It's a pretty cool deal; there was 1 child nominated from each school to participate in the process and 5 kids were chosen out of 11 schools. Her Tools for Tomorrow teacher nominated her and she put together a portfolio of her work and wrote a little thing about her and Brittany had to write a page telling why she'd like to be chosen and I had to include it in the blog because sometimes I wonder how old her little spirit really is. We didn't help her at all, it was all her. We just went and met with the executive director a couple of days ago and he was telling us a little more about it....there are going to be kids there from all over the world. Teachers / leaders /artists come from all over to help put it on and it's going to be a really great experience for her. It's a hands-on workshop in music, dance, theatre, visual arts, writing, filmmaking and Native arts and the kids get to pick 2 areas that they really want to concentrate on. I really don't know what we'll all do without her and Bailey is already missing her and she's not even gone yet. It's a two week camp and they stay up there in dormitories with supervisors and teachers and they take really good care of them and we can go visit her on the weekend. It's going to be a learning and growing experience for all of us. We're so proud of her and love that she has all of these great opportunities in her young life. She's such a good kid and I think this will be a lot of fun for her. Congratulations!

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I know I talked about some of the challenges of Mother's Day, but I also wanted to show you why I also love Mother's Day! This is what makes my life so much fun and so complete. I also need to put a picture of Cody up there because I don't know what I'd do without him. We have been so blessed and I don't know what we ever did to deserve such wonderful kids!

Brit - thanks for always being there to help...no matter what! Thank you for being such a good example to your brother and sisters and for being the "mom" when I need a little extra help. You're so responsible and so nurturing and loving, sometimes I forget you're only 10. You keep me on the ball and thanks for reminding me of things that need done or getting me out the door when we're running a little late. You're level-headed and mature for your age, but you're still a fun, crazy kid! Your quick wit and fun personality are contagious and I appreciate you making me laugh at just the right time! What would I do without you?

Bai - You're sweet smile and little attitude make you who you are and I love that! I love that you are constantly walking around with a baby on your hip and playing house with Carson, even letting him be the husband when you want him to be your son. :) I love that you wear my shoes around and talk with your hand on your hip. You add so much fun and laughter to our family and when you're happy, your eyes light up and I can't help but smile and go along with you. Thanks for dancing with me in the kitchen and for cuddling up with me on the couch. I love that you put your arm around me and want to hold my hand when we go out. Remember to find the positive and keep smiling - it's one of your cutest features!

Carson - You're at such a fun age and you're constantly making me and dad laugh. I was getting you your lunch the other day and you made me laugh so hard when I asked what you wanted to drink and you said, "Milk, my love!" Your cute little accents and your cute looks, especially when your one eyebrow shoots up when you say something funny, makes my day! I love spending the days with you and I love that you tell me you love me and give me a hug out of the blue. You're such a little boy and I'm so glad we have you in our family...your playfulness and your boyish charm go a long way in our house! Thanks for being so sweet to Avery and for taking such good care of her during the day and for always giving her a love at night before you go to bed. You're still the only one that she kisses and hugs before bed (sorry Brit & Bai). What a sweet boy!

Avery - What a fun, active little girl you are! We love watching you and your facial expressions! Your eyes are so big and beautiful and when you smile, your whole face lights up! You're definitely the bonus that we needed in our family and you finish things off nicely! You are such a sweet little girl and we've all had so much fun watching you learn and grow this past year. Thanks for telling us your secrets (new thing - she gets close to your ear and whispers things) and for all of the kisses and cute hugs with the pats on the back. Walking through the door and having you run right up to me and hug my legs is the best thing in the world!

I definitely have more blessings than I can count and I wanted my kids to know how much I love being a mom and how much I love them! Thanks for all that you do to keep our family up and running and for pitching in when we need a little extra help! I love you guys!

Mothers Day...

My Mom

I love this picture because we had been out all day doing "stuff", she had a thing for Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and you can see the Wendy's cup on the table (now I know where I got it), and she was still feeling good. I love that we look so happy. I just love that we had that time together and that we were such great friends! This picture always makes me smile!

I started this post the other day and I'm finally getting back to it, if you call the title "starting it". I had a very different Mother's Day this year.....I'm usually fine with the actual day because I'm a mom and my kids and Cody always do such fun and cute things for me...I love it! I also think it's wonderful to remember all of the "moms" I have in my life who watch out for me and take care of me and who I love. I have several people who, after my mom passed away, stepped in and really helped me by being there, understanding when I had hard times and giving me advice. There are those people who just feel and act like a mom and I've appreciated all of these people since my mom has been gone. I usually have my moment when I get a little emotional or cry during the cute mother's day songs in sacrament, but this year, I don't know what happened, but I had a meltdown. Now I don't mind having a meltdown now and then, I think it's healthy because it really lets me get everything out and then I'm good for another couple of months, but I like to have them at home, in my bedroom and I can just cry it out and have my ugly splotchy face all to myself. I lost it at church last Sunday and I was so embarrassed and the worst part was that I couldn't stop. Any time anyone looked at me, I lost it all over again. It started during sacrament and pretty much lasted the whole morning. I got it together a little bit before Relief Society, but anyone who looked at me, knew something was going on because of that lovely splotchy, red face that I mentioned earlier. I think it was just a meltdown that was already in the works because of everything that's been going on the last couple of months, but Mother's Day was the trigger.

It hasn't gotten any easier that she's gone, but I've had to learn to live with it. Even living with it and dealing with it, I still have those days when I can't stand it that she's gone and I miss her so much it hurts. I think stressful things are particularly hard because I would love to just sit and talk to her and tell her everything that's going on and listen to her advice and how I could make it better. She was such a "doer" and I know she would be here as often as she could and I know she would be on the phone making sure I was okay. I guess I just really miss that and some days "dealing" with the situation doesn't make that any better. Sunday was just one of those days and even though I'm a mom and have 4 adorable kids who I love and wrote me the sweetest cards and brought me breakfast in bed, I lost it! Sacrament meeting was especially hard because there was a sweet story from Brother Kitchens who lost his mom to cancer which almost mirrored an experience with my mom. I had an incredible mom and I love to remember all of those things that I loved about her and I always try to do that in a much quieter way than bawling through church.

I love that she was one of those people who would do anything for anyone. I grew up watching her serve, especially through music and that is one very special gift that I wish I had more of. She did everything for her family....I have so many fun memories of our family vacations and outings and although we really wanted to stay home sometimes (especially in high school :)) I have those memories to look back on and laugh at. We always did everything together and I love that I want the same thing for my family. I love that she made us sing at the nursing home and made me play the piano at the county talent show. I love that she pushed me to be better and to get out of my shell. I love that she supported everything that I ever did and I could always count on her sitting in the stands during sports events or even at the games when I was cheering. I love that she let me accept a punishment if I had it coming but she stepped in and stood by me if she felt I was being treated unfairly or wrongly accused. I love that she accepted my apology for being such a "stinker" (my mom actually had another word, but I think I'll keep that to myself) in high school and told me that the way I was then was all that mattered. She said everything was forgotten, although I couldn't understand how it was that easy for her when I had put her through so much. She loved me unconditionally and I'll never forget that. I love that she always wanted the best for me and wouldn't let me settle. I love that she taught me how to love and serve by watching her and by giving me opportunities to do so. I love that she accepted me for all of my faults and loved me anyway. I love that I was able to spend the last 18 months of her life by her side and that I got to spend my summers and weekends driving her around, learning how to pay bills and take care of the house, cooking (though not very well), cleaning, laying by her on her bed and talking about everything and holding her hand when we were having a rough day. I love that she had her sense of humor and tried to make it easier to deal with when things were hard. I love that she assured me that she would be there on the day I got married and I knew she was because I could feel her all day long. Only a mom could do that....I love that! I'm so blessed that I had such a special mom and I wanted to write my feelings because I need to remember why I had such a hard day and how even after 13 years, it still hurts and it's not okay. I wanted to remember her and let my kids know how much she means to me and even though she's not here, I want them to remember her too. I wish I could let them know how wonderful she was and I hate that they won't meet her in this life, but I also love the fact that I'm sure she held them and took care of them before they came to me. Mother's Day is a special day for me and although I didn't make it through like I usually do, I still am so grateful that I have a day to remember and honor my sweet mom. I love her and miss her every day but I'm so blessed that I had someone like her who showed me what being a mom was all about! I hope I can make her proud of me and I hope she looks down on us and smiles!

Definitely A Pretty Happy Place!

After Kari's visit, she called to let us know that her sister and her husband had a few extra tickets to Disneyland and they were wondering if we wanted them. It was such good timing and I think we all needed a little break so Cody and I decided we wouldn't tell the kids but we definitely wanted to go. We told the kids the night before that we had a few things to take care of on Saturday and they needed to bring some things to do to keep busy and some extra movies because they might have to stay in the car while me and Cody did what we needed to do. Pretty mean, right? They were all disappointed and Brittany even offered to stay home with the kids but we said it was too far away to leave them and they'd have to come. We got up in the morning and started to drive. No one said much on the way down there until we go to Disneyland Dr. Mandy and Brandon had left a parking pass for us with an attendant at AM/PM on the corner of Disneyland Dr. so we pulled into the gas station and we could hear they were starting to talk and look around and asked what we were doing and we told them we had to get some gas or directions or something and you could see the disappointment on their faces. Well, we pulled out of the parking lot and headed down Disneyland Dr. and they were breaking their necks looking around and when we pulled into the parking garage, they were all screaming. It was sooo fun! To go from a boring ride in the car to Disneyland was pretty exciting so we were all ready for a good time.

We had so much fun hanging out with Mandy and Brandon and their two twin boys for the afternoon. It was fun to be with them and they taught us a few tricks that we'll be using from now on with the rides. Who knew they had stroller passes and single rider lines? Probably all of you Disneyland veterans are laughing, but that's good information. Mandy and Brandon only live 30 minutes from Disneyland and have season passes so they go for a few hours several times a year. We had a blast and the kids were so good. Carson could go on a lot more rides than the last time we went and he loves Space Mountain and Splash Mountain and the Tea Cups although he had to be in the purple cup instead of the blue one. He's such a boy! It was pretty crowded but we did as much as we could and we all came home exhausted but with smiles on our faces. As soon as Brittany knew the circumstances of how we got there, she sat down right in the car and wrote Mandy and Brandon a thank you note for the passes and it was so cute because she wrote, "thank you so much...our family really needed this." It's been a really stressful time for all of us and I think they probably feel it more than we think they do so it was so cute of her to say that because, yes, we all definitely needed it! Thanks guys!

Visit from home...

My sweet friend, Kari and her sister Stefani came down from Utah a couple of weeks ago to visit her sister Mandy in Upland and they invited us all down for Sunday dinner. It was so fun to see them and to catch up a little bit. Kari is one of those friends who is always there, no matter what, in good and bad....whatever. We grew up in the same neighborhood so we've known each other forever. She kept me sane ALOT and always stepped in whenever I needed a friend, a shoulder, chocolate, or all 3. All of our kids are the same ages and they would have been exactly except she had Olivia and I lost our baby that would have been her same age. We got Avery as a bonus but the other kids are so fun and cute together and Brittany and Bailey still email Lauren and Carter and when we go to Utah, they're always right up there on our list of "must-see now". We still talk as much as time will allow, which lately, hasn't been very good, but she lets me know what's going on in Tooele and some of the "dirt" and I keep her up on our lives here. Every time she tells me something that's not so good, she says, "But you can't use that as an excuse not to move back." I just love her and I miss hanging out with her. Our kids started in nursery in church, we started a playgroup for them, they went to preschool and then they all went to the same school. They were in dance, gymnastics, soccer, softball, you name it, we did it together. It made everything so much more fun to do it with friends. It's made me a little sad because Carson and Emma would have started the same way but I guess we'll just have to catch up in the summers.

When Avery was born, she asked me if I had any headbands for her because she knows how much I loved that with the girls. I had gotten rid of a lot of them and I couldn't find many here, so here comes a cute little box full of bows. When Cody's uncle passed away, they wanted the funeral in Tooele and didn't want the luncheon at a church so Cody and I volunteered to have it at our house. I wanted to spruce it up a little bit and Kari and her family are extremely talented and so creative, so Kari went shopping with me to buy some fun decorations for our house and she stayed at my house and helped me make window treatments and hang everything on the walls before the funeral. When I had Carson, she drove the kids to school and to preschool and home every day for 3 months so I didn't have to take him out in the winter. I can't even count the number of meals and cute gifts and when Cody was living here and I was in Utah, she brought stuff by all the time. She knew I was "losing it" a little one day and dropped by a basket full of fun stuff for the kids to do so I could have a break. I could go on and on....

This last year she has really inspired me and it's been amazing to watch her as she has battled breast cancer. She has 4 little kids and has managed to go through a grueling chemo regimen, a double mastectomy, radiation, now chemo again and she's going to have reconstruction in a couple of weeks. Every time I see the little pink ribbon, I think of her and it makes me grateful for what a true, wonderful friend I have in her and how that friendship stays strong no matter how many miles there are between us. After all she's been through, she stills calls to see how things are going with us.... she's amazing! It has been so hard to watch all of this long-distance and not be able to do anything to help. We have a Recipe Group back in Tooele who has taken her dinner twice a week for a year now and her family is almost all close by and have been there every step of the way, of course. I know she's been well taken care of, but it's kind of a helpless feeling and I would've loved to do more to help. I just hope she knows how much I love her and how grateful I am for her. I have been blessed with amazing friends and I'm thankful every day for the wonderful people around us. I don't know where we'd be without all of them. I'll just keep being grateful and hopefully try to be the kind of friend that I've found in others.

School's Out!!

Okay, that title is a little misleading....I meant, school is out for me, the kids still have a ways to go. I took a 5 week course with Keller Williams that was sooo great, but it's a little bit of a relief that it's over. It was every day from 8:30 to 10:30 and then I had things to complete during the day for each class. It was a little crazy, but we made it and it was so worth it! I got to know so many great people and had a lot of fun and actually managed to learn a thing or two as well. It was a challenge at times but the kids hung in there, Cody really made it work for all of us and, again, our friends and family stepped in when we needed help! It was probably more of an adventure for the kids and I think they loved spending time at other houses. Every week was different and I'm so glad we have adaptable kids! They just rolled with it and Cody and I tag-team parented ALOT! I really don't know what I'd do without him. Things really worked out great for those 5 weeks and even though he wasn't super busy during that time, it worked out that I could get out a little bit too and hopefully, down the road, it will all even out. He took over carpool, making lunches for the kids, laundry, etc and let me do my thing! I can't tell you how much I appreciate and love him! It's funny how things work out! I've really missed the blogging thing, especially keeping up on everyone. I'm a little out of the loop so I have a lot to catch up on. I thought I'd just add a couple of pictures because what's a post without pictures?

Fun Birthday Week!

I don't even know where to begin; I have so much to catch up on. I'll start where I left off.....My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and it was so fun! It didn't only last 1 day, it was the whole weekend. The other thing that made it really fun was that my friends Alysa and Denice had their birthdays on the 21st and the 23rd so we spent a lot of the weekend together and celebrated our birthdays together this year. Nonie, our sweet friend from our ward, took Alysa, Denice & I out to lunch at Cosi's on Friday afternoon and it was so fun to just have some "girl" time and laugh and hang out with those guys. Denice kept our kids later on that night and Cody and I went on an actual date! It was wonderful! It had been a while so we used that time to get reacquainted and went to Outback and actually sat down and talked for a while. It was great and we really appreciated Denice volunteering to watch our kids. We have a lot of fun with their family and the kids had a great time hanging out with them. We have such wonderful friends!

The next day was my birthday and we had a baby shower at the Cheesecake Factory which was so fun to spend some more time with so many fun friends. Cody met me at the mall and didn't complain once (Happy Birthday to me:) ). We went over to Whitlock's to spend the evening and had a great time! We had a barbecue and watched a movie outside and visited and played games. It was a really great day and that makes it even more memorable to spend the day with friends who mean so much to us.

The next day we went over to Cody's mom's house and had a barbecue. It was so fun and I have to say, it wasn't even that bad turning another year older this year. Cody doesn't let me forget though, that I'm now older than him again. My legs got slammed in the car door from the wind this last week and my knees were pretty sore so I was walking kind of funny for a couple of days and Cody attributed it all to me getting older. I guess I'm probably not as young as I think I am, but I'm still getting around pretty good. :) In December, he'll catch back up again....

It was really fun to think back on what a great year it's been, in spite of all the challenges. I really don't know what we'd do without all of our family and friends who stick by us through good and bad. I know that really keeps us going and even though things aren't optimal, they're getting better and we're making it! I have some really wonderful friends who are always there to pick us up when we need it! I'm amazed at how there are days that things just aren't going well and I'm about to lose it and I'll get an email, or a phone call or a letter in the mail or something from someone. I know that during our times of trial, the Lord really strengthens us through the people around us and I know that it's true for us! I count our blessings every day that we have such great people around us to bring us up! I know we're going to be okay, but it's through our friends and family that we get the love and support that we need to keep going. I'm so glad that I know we're definitely not alone in our struggles and I find comfort and peace in that every day! It was a wonderful birthday and I'm thankful for this past year because it really has made me grateful for everything that I have and has made me even more aware of how blessed I am! I'm just hoping for another great year, minus a little drama! :)

Long Lost Tag!

I got tagged quite a while ago, started filling it out and got side-tracked, (sorry, Niki; not such a fun game with people who don't play right...) so I thought I'd finish it and then try to catch up from there. I don't know where to begin, but I've missed the blogging world!

~Who do you love? There are too many to name them all....I really hope you know who you are....if not, I'll make a note of that and try to do better with letting you know. I will say that I'm totally in love with Cody and my kids and the list goes on from there....

~How long have you been married? 12 unforgettable years....I mean, 13. (j.k.)

~Who said I love you first? I had to ask Cody and neither one of us are sure on that. He thinks it was me because really, why wouldn't I? :)

~How long did you date? We dated almost 2 years before we got married. Not that we needed that long to make sure it was right...I knew way before that.

~Where did he propose? We went on a fancy date (just saying that because it wasn't Wendy's or Taco Time where we usually went) to The Roof in Salt Lake and then we walked across the street to the Salt Lake Temple and we walked around for quite a while until he got up the nerve to do it. I had no idea so when he went down on his knee, I was so excited. Of course I said "Yes" and threw my arms around him and a few people were on the other side of the fountain all clapped and whistled. It was a really wonderful night. He gave me a gold box with a dozen long stemmed roses in it....I'd never had a box of roses before. Very special night and it hasn't changed a bit. He still finds ways to surprise me and make me feel like I'm the only girl in the room. I love that about him (sorry, getting a little mushy)

~Who is taller? He is, by a hair. :)

~Who is smarter? I have to say that we both have our strengths. After 4 kids, I'm surprised I can say I'm actually in the running, but I really think we both have our thing. It comes in handy when I'm not sure about a math problem with the kids' homework.

~Who does the laundry? We both do....although, Cody has actually been doing it for the last few weeks. I have to get back in the game. He's been a lifesaver.

~Who pays the bills? I do. I'm a little bit of a freak with the checkbook/register. Like to do things a certain way.

~Who mows the lawn? We both do (or noone because anyone who has come over and looked at our backyard lately knows that true. We almost lost Avery out there yesterday :)). I think it's usually who is embarrassed first about our ghetto yard right now. It usually depends who drives up first. I don't mind doing it but because of our little lawn mower incident a few posts back, our cord is wound a little too tight and I about threw my shoulder out trying to start it. Hence, another reason why we might have a ghetto yard right now. I used to be very disciplined about it; I've got to get back in the groove and get out and weed, especially before it gets too hot because then it's never going to happen.

~Who cooks dinner? We both do. One of us will start and the other will pitch in and help finish. It works out well.

~Who drives? He usually does.

~I now tag? I think I'm a little behind on this one so I'm not sure who has done it and who hasn't. I'll just try Alysa and Kandis.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

These pictures were actually from Camp 2006. This was kind of our version of "how many clowns can you get in a Volkswagen?" I think we could've added a few more on here. This is how I'll forever remember my Grandma and Grandpa....this is where they loved to be. They had to give up their horses this last year because they were getting to be too much and it makes me cry to think of it because it must have been a very sad day for them. They've never been without horses so this is a memory I want to keep!
My Grandma and Grandpa with my brother
Grandma and my dad - isn't she cute?

Today is my Grandma Smart's 90th birthday! Our family had a fun open house for her on Saturday back in Utah and of course, we missed it! I've been thinking about her all day and I'm just amazed at her life and what she's been able to accomplish and what she's been able to witness in her life. They had 8 children and they have 36 grandchildren and even more great-grandchildren and getting together is a lot of fun but it went from being in their cute, little house in Sandy to the cultural hall of the church. I have such wonderful memories growing up of fun times with Grandma and Grandpa. We've been going camping with them since before most of us cousins were born (I think over 40 years) and those are the best memories. That's where we really got to know our cousins, play with them, ride horses and wreck motorcycles and 3-wheelers and stuff. :) Now, that we're all grown, our kids play together and get to know each other and it's the cutest thing you've ever seen. I never missed a year until this last year and it just about killed me. Our kids were so disappointed and I vowed to make an extra effort this year to make it up there for a few days. I don't want to get to a point that I'm going to have to reintroduce our kids to their cousins. We have a big family, but we've always been pretty close and I love getting together with them and I hope my kids will grow up the same way. My Grandma has always gotten a big kick out of seeing all of us together and I know that's what she'll be expecting and wanting and I'm not about to disappoint her. We love you Grandma! Happy 90th Birthday!

She saw all the girls rolling their softball bags around and joined them. It was so cute...



They made little tic-tac-toe boards out of sticks and played with rocks or whatever they could find. I love that they can always find something to do....we were waiting for Taylor and Ashley's game to start.

This is Avery's little Fisher Price doll stroller that she got for her birthday and you can see that she's a little large for it, but Tyler loved pushing her around in it and she got a big kick out of it. He was so cute with her and would take her outside and play with her all by himself. She got a lot of attention so it was a lot of fun for her.

They had so much fun on the tramp; I'm so glad there were no major injuries....these are moments that mom's aren't supposed to watch what their kids are doing because it causes too much stress. I think that's how my mom survived our tramp so I'm sticking with that. Only one person slid off and he was okay after we picked the grass out of his nose. :)

This must totally be a "boy thing" because it seems like we have a picture in an earlier blog just like this with Carson holding the hose. I think they come into the world thinking of ways to torture their sisters. It was really fun to watch. :)

I loved this..they're such cute cousins!
..
This looks so funny because the sky is blue, the sun is out and we're standing in a blanket, looking like it's freezing cold. Moni and I were both freezing at the game, which the wind was really chilly and we were in shorts, but I know that 70 degrees is a lot better than 30 or 40. Sorry everyone in Utah. My skin must be getting a little thin; how sad!

My cousin, Moni and her family came down last weekend and stayed with us. Their daughters had a softball tournament in Cathedral City so we got to see them play a little bit and then we got to play with all of them the rest of the time. They have the cutest kids and they all got along so well and included Carson and even Avery a lot of the time in what they were doing. We got to catch up a little bit with Moni and Eric and we played games and of course, guitar hero (you're all going to start thinking we don't have much of a life because we play Guitar Hero with everyone that comes over, but it's really a good time) :) I even made rolls from scratch on Sunday afternoon and I'm putting that in here because I've never done it start to finish by myself. Jeniel will be proud because I didn't have to call her to bail me out! Woo-hoo! Usually I would ask her how to make something and she would come over to help me and end up making it while I sat and watched and got us drinks and things to snack on. Good times, good times! I miss that. :) We were sad to see the Godfrey's go, but we're going to be planning a trip to Phoenix really soon so we don't wait a whole year to see each other. I got a lot of cute pictures at the ball park so I thought I'd post a few.